136. Million Dollar Months with Shadow Work Queen, Felicity Morgan
In this episode, I'm excited to introduce you to the Shadow Work Queen herself and business mogul, Felicity Morgan. Felicity and I delve into her journey from a life filled with drama to one of self-awareness and personal growth. She explains the importance of shadow work and how it involves uncovering and integrating suppressed parts of our personality and addressing unhealthy projections onto others.
We also discuss the challenges of balancing motherhood with personal development and how our children can reveal unmet needs within us. We explore common shadows in business, particularly related to comparison and feelings of inadequacy, maintaining healthy boundaries and focusing on self-growth. This episode is packed with valuable advice on navigating insecurities and leveraging shadow work for success, this episode is a must-listen for any entrepreneur desiring phenomenal growth and expansion.
Connect with Felicity @iamfelicitymorgan
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So hello and welcome back to the Money Mindset Hub podcast. I'm your host, Carla Townsend, a money mindset and success coach for female entrepreneurs who are ready to dissolve their money blocks and shatter their income ceilings. And today I am honored to introduce you to an absolute powerhouse of a woman and a business mogul Felicity Morgan.
So Felicity is the undisputed shadow work queen, a multimillion dollar business owner and investor who specializes in revealing to you your biggest blind spots, gnarliest truths and shadowy patterns. She helps you become so painfully aware of yourself that you'll have no choice but to change your ways. Welcome, felicity.
Oh my gosh. What an introduction. Thank you.
That's what everyone's.
what everyone says. I'm like, this like just gave me an ego boost that will probably last for a week.
I am so excited that you are on, and like we were just chatting about a second ago, I remember seeing you on a reality show so long ago that so much of your audience probably have no idea that you were on. But that was in a total different season of your life. So to see you then and to see you now is honestly, it's a testament to everything you've done and the work that you have done on yourself.
So before you got into personal development,
I read that your life was really fueled with drama. It was conflict, it was a reactivity. So much so that you felt like the world was out to get you.
And so many people are in that. So what was that defining moment for you to begin to actually look inwards instead of playing the victim?
Yeah, so I would say like it wasn't one defining moment. You know, a lot of people like have this like rock bottom moment. I don't think I necessarily had that because I feel like my rock bottom went on for like 10 years. Like I don't feel like, it literally felt like I just became so painfully aware of myself that I got these glimpse of moments where I was like, oh, I'm actually not a victim to this.
I'm choosing it. Oh, I'm actually not a victim to this. I'm creating it. Oh, I'm actually not a victim to this. I'm co-creating it with another human being. So it was a shift in my awareness. It wasn't like this one defining moment. It was this opening of my awareness of, ooh, yes, once upon a time I was a victim.
Which there was truth to that, I had been victimized, but I'm no longer a victim like that happened many years ago. So it was this glimpse of my awareness that happened in many interactions that ended up, you know, me becoming a more self-aware, self-responsible human being. Yeah.
I love that you say, you know, at that time in your life you were victimized, so you had everyone. To feel that way, but at some point you were just like, no, this is it. I'm taking responsibility for myself, my actions, and this is just the line in the sand where you draw it and I find
so many people, I feel like you get to a certain point and you realize that they're just always going to remain in that,
mentality. And it's so disheartening to see when you see someone with so much potential. And I mean, look at you. Look at everything you have created and done for yourself and your beautiful family, like your two beautiful kids
and the
mother that you've become for them.
You wouldn't have been like that if you just continue to stay in that mentality. So I love that you have done that. For anyone listening. Who is just like, what exactly is shadow work?
Could you just define it in your terms and why it's actually so important?
Yeah,
so shadow work, when I like to introduce shadow work to people, I really like to open it up to someone and making sure I'm covering all the bases because most people cover one. Or
I.
jump on social media or you introduce yourself to shadow work, usually people only do one layer of shadow work.
And when you only do one layer, it's actually quite dangerous. Right? And when I say dangerous, I say that lightly, but one part of shadow work is discovering different parts of yourself that you have suppressed. So different parts of yourself that you've rejected, a lot of this is because of trauma, childhood conditioning, interactions with our parents, how we were raised, what school we went to, what people said to us, experiencing situations that we decided in that moment. This part of me is not safe to bring forward. This part of me got me in trouble. This part of me got me love.
This part of me got me rejected. So we end up having these really unhealthy relationships to different parts of ourselves. So that's one of shadow work. And ultimately it works through the lens of. Discovering what parts of your personality you have suppressed and integrating it back into yourself so you can have a healthy of that.
A lot of people, you know, it comes down to even sexuality. I don't know about you, but I had. A very suppressed sexuality to the level that I actually identified as someone who wasn't sexual. Like I literally believed that I just like didn't have a libido. I just didn't work like that. That wasn't important to me.
It wasn't a value of mine. So that kinds, you kind of gives you a bit of idea of like one layer of shadow work, the other layer that you often don't see on social media is. Projecting onto other people. It's the way that you see others, the way that you see the world, the way that you see money, the way that you see relationships that isn't actually true, right? It's the parts of you that it's not that they're suppressed. You're not taking responsibility for them. They're actually overly expressed. It's when we don't believe we're greedy, but we're being greedy. It's when we don't believe that we're a cruel person, but then we're going home and treating our parents like crap, right? So it's also the parts of us that we're not taking responsibility for and we are not seeing, this, you know, darker part of ourself
Mm. I love that you broke that up into two different parts, your personality and your projections. I
never heard it explained like that.
I
knew that both had a part but didn't realize like, oh, they're actually layered. But that makes it so much easier to understand and then to comprehend, where do I need to start?
So
for people who are just sort of starting, okay, let's just say they're in this situation. They're in this victim mentality. They've had enough, nothing's working. They have no idea where the. Start, which layer then would you say to start with?
So I really believe when you're in a space of victimhood, you need to be shaken up. Like I really do believe people need to start seeing where are you blaming other people for your finances? Where are you blaming other people for the how you feel about yourself on a day-to-day basis?
Where are you blaming others for what happens during your day? Where are you blaming others for what you can achieve? A lot of people project onto their kids. The reason why I can't be successful is because. I have a little one, right? Like they will literally project on innocent little human beings. So I would say when you are in a space of victimhood and you are feeling like hard done by by life, I don't necessarily think more self-love is gonna help you.
If anything, you actually need to see where you are actually perpetuating
Mm. You need that tough love approach, right? Like, come on enough is enough. Okay. I love that.
I love that you touched on the motherhood piece because it was actually something that I had written down,
Motherhood and triggers. We are both moms.
When I first become a mom, like in those first few years, and then I had three kids in four years
and Yeah. And
I remember
being
so triggered. And I'd done lots of personal development. I'd been doing that for years and years and years, and used to be someone who is insecure now, not insecure, used to be nowhere near confident and now I'm con. So it was all these parts of, my personality that completely changed and I took responsibility for everything. and
then becoming a mum and when they're babies, like you can never imagine getting annoyed at a baby, but when they're like 2, 3, 4, you know,
When they can converse
that's it.
that's where
that's it.
and triggers and, we're now in a dynamic, in a relationship with someone where there's a back and forth, but when they're a child, there's not really a back and forth is there. So they can't say things that trigger you. They can cry and that may dysregulate you, but you're not projecting onto them. You know what I mean? So I, I love that you brought that up because this is a really cool conversation because. Children will bring out your shadows, but then there'll also be the pathway to integrate them. So it's like, what you just said, it was like, there was a time where you were just like, oh my gosh. Like I was, you know, grounded and I was regulated and I could, keep down like all these dysregulated parts of myself, but then I bring other people into the mix. And all that goes out the door.
And what that actually goes to show is really fake personal development. And I love this conversation because we think that we're developed, but most of us have actually just created an environment and a life to make sure we're not triggered. And then you
Mm.
yourself into a relationship or you really excel at work or you have children. And it's like, oh, I actually only felt like I could not be mean, cruel, greedy, nasty when I didn't have a child who wanted and needed me when I wasn't in a relationship where we were working together every second of the day where I wasn't putting myself out there in work and getting nasty comments on social media.
So having and bringing other people and other things into the mix, which is motherhood.
mm.
Brings out, and it kind of shuffles things up, doesn't it? It kind of like a, a very good example. I want you to imagine a desert that hasn't been touched. Nothing's coming in, no one's been around. It's a beautiful desert. But when people come in and bring a Jeep and start riding around everywhere and you're bringing new foreign things into that environment, what ends up happening, it gets quite dusty. Right. Stuff goes around everywhere. It's no longer clear anymore. You can't see because these things have came and shaken up things that you need to heal.
So that's what you just said about motherhood, and I love that you brought that
Okay.
a lot of people can then project onto their kids that the reason why I'm dysregulated is because my daughter won't shut up. The reason I'm dysregulated is because I've gotta get my kids to school every morning plus go to work, and it's like, no. Maybe that's showcasing a dysregulation within you, but it's actually an opportunity to become more grounded so you can get ready for work and also make your kids breakfast. So I like to see motherhood as an opportunity to see what's not healed in us.
you just nailed it completely
because
pre kids.
It was like, oh, okay, I am a total different person. I had become a different person. I was so proud of the person I'd become because the normal external things would not trigger me anymore. The things that I was triggered by wouldn't trigger me anymore.
And maybe we can talk about the signs to know that you're shadows are beginning to get integrated is when you're not triggered anymore. But then,
like you said, it was like that Jeep coming in. It was just like, what? Like, what the fuck has gone on here? What did I do? Should I have had kids back to back?
Can I handle this? Like, but then it's like, no, it showed me.
All of the areas that I had yet to even look at or I wasn't aware of. There's no rule book that comes with being a mom. Like by the way, you're gonna really see your inner self, like your little mini me is gonna come out and she's gonna press on every little button, every mirror.
I've actually said that to people before. Your kids are your mirror if you are not being patient. Of course they're not gonna be patient with you and they will feel your energy,
like they just feel it off you.
to you.
They're responding to you. It's
Mm.
match. you know, how you throw that ball is how you're gonna get it back. It's, it's very much like that. So I love that you brought it up and, and the way that I also see parenting is also through the lens of, in that relationship, you get to integrate that part of you, and you get to showcase that for your children too. that
it can be okay to be unhealed. It can be okay to have fragmented parts of ourselves, but it's about taking responsibility for them. So it's not about never projecting your shadow onto your kids. It's about seeing where you do and make sure it doesn't stay there. So even at the earlier stages in my parenting journey, I don't know about you, but my daughter was my biggest trigger.
I speak about this quite often. My daughter. She mirrored to me so many different pieces where I had thought I had transcended or healed. Then this beautiful little angel comes around and disrupts my world in the best way, but showed me where I wasn't patient, that I felt very uncomfortable being present.
I. That I felt very uncomfortable in intimate moments. Like I had a short window, maybe like five minutes, and then I would, oh, gotta do the dishes or make dinner. And I didn't have much time that I felt good in physical touch. And that was really cool because even though my daughter was young, instead of like letting that land on her and her thinking like, why doesn't my mom wanna. Hug me, right? All the time. I would say to her, Hey, like, I'm gonna take a moment. This isn't about you. I actually wanna hug you. I wanna be around you. It's just mommy needs to regulate herself. And that's, that's a cool conversation. And whilst I don't have that relationship with her now, where I. She used to be my, my biggest trigger, and now literally she's my most healing spot.
Like, I literally feel the most grounded when I'm around my daughter. And that's a cool thing. It's not about never projecting onto your kids and shaming yourself for that, but it's about making sure it doesn't stay
Yeah. I felt exactly the same. So you're definitely not alone there. And I have two daughters and a son,
so
girl, boy, girl. And I felt that with my eldest, who's about to turn eight, and I just thought, what's going on here? But you're right, she looks like me.
her personality is like me.
is Everything.
She
completely mirrors me even down to what she's just naturally gravitated towards in her life. What she loves to do, she's all me. And
it could not have been the more of a blessing.
But then with my son, it's it. It's not like that.
yeah, so
But what I found interesting was for my husband, my son was the biggest trigger. Again, it's that little mini me.
and that, that was, 'cause I, I'm not with my kid's father anymore, a good relationship. It was the same with us where my daughter was my biggest trigger which was cool because my son, I was like, Ooh, it just goes to show I do have the capacity for intimacy. I do have the capacity of X, Y, and Z. Right. I just need to work on my relationship with my daughter. But it was the same where he had more bandwidth for our daughter and didn't have as much bandwidth when it came to his son. So that's that's really cool. And it's not because you love one more, like that's not the vibe. It's more so actually, oh, this is my gift to see where I'm not healed and what I get, what I get to work on.
Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah, it's the most beautiful gift and it's nice also having that, you know, even though you're not together anymore, you still have that beautiful connection to be able to raise your children into the adults that they're becoming.
I think that's really beautiful. Okay.
What are the most common shadows that you notice in your clients, and how do you help them transcend it?
Okay, so I would never say that there's a common shadow because everyone truly is so different, and the way that that shadow shows up is also very, very different.
So an example, let's just say sexuality. So if someone has an unhealthy relationship, a distorted relationship to their sexuality, they can go two ways. They become over expressive, where then they're like sleeping with everyone, giving it away, not treating it like sacred, having respect for themselves. And that's also showing that there's an overexpression, right? Or you can do the under expression where you suppress it. where you don't wanna give it away, where you're not connected to your sexuality, where you don't wanna give to anyone. You are in protection mode around it. So I would say when it comes to shadows, what I found is there isn't like ever a common one, I. It's depending on who that person is, and we all have the same shadows, right? But it's just depending on what current phase they are in their life. Like, are they in business? Do they just take off? Are they making lots of money? Have they just been in a relationship?
Like depending on what area you are in and what phase of life that you're in or what's going on, will depend on what shadows are coming up for you.
Yeah.
Interesting. Okay. That's really interesting.
What then would be the ones that you notice more so for your clients, in business.
So I would say comparison. That's probably one of the biggest ones. And I would say comparison and then pedestal. it's like, inferiorities, slash superiority complexes with people. So a lot of people, when they're in the first five years of the business, you are finding. Who you are, what you wanna be known for, what you wanna create, what's your brand voice, what's the tone like? What do you care about? Like there's a bit of a shedding, isn't there? And there's also a bit of a creation. So during that time, because we're in this stage of not feeling fully solid, which is beautiful by the way, because it's how we evolve. We will often look to other people, to try and find that solidness that we actually want for ourselves. And what I end up finding when people do that is they go into a space of, I need to make this person bad and I need to make this person wrong. I need a pedestal. This person, I need to make this person superior.
So I would say most of the common thing is people's relationships to people who are doing. Better than them and who people who are doing not as good as them. it's this unhealthy relationship and unhealthy dynamics of pedestal in people and then demonizing people. I would say like that's probably the most common dynamic that I see in entrepreneurs in the first five years.
But when after you get that and if you do the shadow work, actually I've seen people be 15 years in business, not have transcended that. But I would say once you do a lot of inner work, you do get past that where you are able to see people as more successful than you as competitors. Not as a threat, but as an invitation to grow.
Yeah, so it's like that ego battle by the sounds of it.
it.
is.
It's like using other people competitors to feel good about yourself and then
Mm.
other people to feel shit about yourself. And it's like this constantly feeling good. One moment because I went on someone's page who was not doing as good as me, and then
Mm.
like a piece of shit because I went on someone's page who's doing better than me? And it's this constant relationship with feeling insecure, feeling secure. Feeling inferior, feeling superior. So it's this constant dance that most entrepreneurs do for many, many, many years. And
Yeah.
solves that because you stop that dynamic of inferiority and superiority.
Yeah.
Do you know what? At the beginning of business, I started this back in 2019, took
a break relaunched in 2021 after I had my third.
And what I noticed was in the beginning,
you know, when people would share money wins and things like that, I loved it. Like I found it really inspiring, but then also a part of me, it triggered
and then
I realized, oh, of course it's because
the
trigger's showing me what I want.
I want some of that, and maybe I feel like I can't actually really have that,
but
I think when people start to actually flip that, because I think one of the most common, let's say blocks, I call 'em money blocks, but they're a metaphorical block. They're just all mindset related.
But one of the ones is, well, the market's too saturated. You know, that's already done. I'm just not as
qualified as them. I
don't have much experience or whatever it might be, but I find a lot of entrepreneurs putting themself in a box around.
It's just
too saturated. I'd love your take on this too, but I think at the end of the day it's just, well,
it's
not too saturated.
'cause no one's you, no one's done it the way you do it. No one is you. No one's got your personality, no one's got your experiences and your opinions and the way you are going to do it. And I think the more that people look around and have a look at everyone else is doing
it actually just dilutes them
and they start being like, what is my voice?
Who am I? What do I love? What do I value? What am I even doing here? Do you find that?
I love this conversation 'cause I have a little bit of a different take. 'cause obviously I'm like, I work from a shadow work lens. believe if we're feeling inferior or we're feeling insecure, there's probably truth to it. So I believe that it's like, okay, cool. Like why does it make sense that you feel like the market's saturated? Why does that make sense? It's because you are being a sheep and you're not standing out, right? Why do you feel like you're not good enough? What are you doing? If I look at your day-to-day schedule and your tasks and how you're performing, is there truth that you're not good enough for the results that you want?
Probably shadow
Mm.
works from a lens instead of gassing someone up when they're actually not doing well. Right. I have, can I tell you something? I have
Yeah.
seen someone who feels insecure about themselves when it comes to business, when it comes to their products, when it comes to their social media, when it comes to whatever it is. Not also seen that there was opportunity for them to improve. I've never ever seen it. So shadow work works from a different lens. So instead of hyping you up and going, you are worthy, you are good. You are good enough, it goes. Okay. Why is your unconscious delivering you these messages? What can you do to make sure that you actually do feel good enough?
Because when you show up with pure excellence every single day, you fuel yourself good. You're not scrolling at 6:00 AM on the toilet. You have a good morning routine. You're kind to your partner. You've had a beautiful day with your kids. You're going to work. You are not being distracted. You're turning social media off, you're applying yourself, you're producing good work. do feel like the best person in the room, right? You do feel like the best person in the room, and if you don't, there's probably truth to it. There's probably truth to it. So when we do personal development from that lens, what's really cool, instead of lying and saying that we need more worthiness or need to feel better about ourselves in order to. Chase our dreams. We actually look at ourselves and go, Ooh, this is actually an opportunity for me to improve. This is an opportunity for me to clean up my morning routine. This is an opportunity for me to do X, Y, and Z. So really like to use whenever there's insecurities with my clients is use them as, why would you feel that way?
Like if there was truth to them. Why do you feel that way? We don't feel about ourselves. Like every single unconscious thing that comes up is telling us to look at something. It's not telling us to delete that belief. It's telling us, Hey, why do I have this? and sometimes our unconscious can deliver it in weird ways, But it's an opportunity to look at it like I've never had an insecurity where there's also actually probably been truth to it.
Mm, and that's uncomfortable.
That's uncomfortable, right, that's truly, truly uncomfortable. Obviously there's extreme cases where people actually have like mental health issues, right?
And that's, we're not talking about that here, but we're talking about if you are a grounded, overall regulated human being, that you can agree that you have, you know, somewhat of a regulated mindset if you are having insecurities. Then I would invite you to look at them. What's the purpose of this insecurity?
What does it want me to look at? What about myself actually makes sense for my insecurity? Like what am I doing on a day-to-day basis that drives this insecurity? A lot of people, that, even that belief around the market saturated it probably makes perfect sense 'cause you're spending seven hours on Instagram every day.
Of course your mind believes that.
That's what it's seeing, right? You're filling it with what you wanna see.
Like even me, I literally believe I'm the only shadow work coach because I don't watch anyone else. Like, I'm not interested
what
other
people have to say. I'm not scrolling, I'm not doing this on TikTok. So for me, I don't have the belief that my market saturated. I'm sure it probably is. I'm sure there's lots of amazing shadow work coaches. I just happen to not know that they exist.
Yeah,
I love that perspective and that's also a really healthy way to look at it. I definitely know that there's lots of people in money mindset, but
I never have this feeling of like, oh, I better stop.
Yeah.
Like,
it's like, well, no, because that voice gets so loud that you just have to listen to it and just sort of tune out the noise.
And I think when people don't know where to go, or they feel like they're becoming a bit overwhelmed. It's because they're probably consuming far more than they're actually creating and just focusing on themselves.
And also their habits. Like I've never Yeah. is overwhelmed also have a 0% screen time, also have an amazing diet, also drink three liters of water a day, also move their body every day. So it's like even that, like I think we can be a victim to overwhelm. Can't we, where it's
Yeah. Yeah.
because of, you know, of work. It's like, no, it's because you literally are on your phone until 11:00 PM every night. So
I
think
like, that's what I love about shadow work. It's like it actually gets the stuff that you can control versus being like, well, I'm just gonna always be overwhelmed because my market saturated.
mm
Oops.
a dipping into victim mentality again, isn't it?
is. And it it is. And if you never fix that, even if you end up blowing up and you're like, okay, cool, that belief was actually not true, you're gonna take that mindset and put it somewhere else and you have to meet it in another thing, right? Because you never
Mm.
the root that you're actually being a victim.
Do
you believe that people can 100% dissolve all their shadows?
No. And you
Mm.
to the only way that we can grow as humans. Is, see where we can be better and change it. so if we all become perfect and we're integrated and we're whole, then that's a bit boring. Like even when it comes to money, right? There's always gonna be different iterations of money because, holding a million dollars verse $10 million, what comes with that? The projections, the triggers from other people. People wanting stuff from you. People not want, like different things get to be initiated. At every level. So I always say at every level, there's a new devil.
Right? Because it's
Hmm.
So you
just,
you just have a different iteration of it. It's like confidence, you know? Maybe I feel confident speaking to 50 people in a room, but then put me in a room of 2000. I'm gonna have insecurities that come up, right?
So you never
Yep.
confidence and you're good to go. It's, if you're not growing, there should be different shadows that come up. But if you're not growing and you're, stagnant. You probably will feel solid 24 7. And that's a good indication that you've integrated a level of shadows, a level of insecurities, a level of productions, beliefs, whatever it is, but you haven't actually challenged yourself to go to the next level.
Yeah. You're
actually keeping yourself in the comfort land because there's something you're scared of or, yeah, I totally get that. And I love that you say that too, because there is layers,
and I've been asked the question before about money mindset blocks, but honestly they're just a metaphorical block and it's a belief.
It's always rooted in a belief, and then that comes out in their behaviors. I've said the same thing. They're kind of like onions. That's the way I look at them. And I love that you have that
they're pretty similar
perspective, which is like you never fully outgrow them. Maybe. Yes, some you might and they may not appear again, but it, it's always layer and it depends where you're at.
Something you brought up then, which is something I really wanna touch on because I remember you sharing actually I did your Pioneer program a couple years ago
Cool.
and it was remarkable.
And
that was my first program I'd ever done with you
and.
I remember around that time you saying that there was a hate page about you and your work where people were giving you all these projections. So
I know that there has been those times for you, and I think that that truly is
some people's worst.
nightmare is to be projected upon in that way and to have that kind of hate for obviously the amount of money and success and everything that you were creating, it was triggering to the point that unfortunately they took it to that level.
How did you navigate that and overcome that and not wobble, because I witnessed you not wobble and you talk about it
just so
so
grounded
and Yeah. I would love your take on that.
I love this conversation because often when people say things, they write things, we take it personal attack, like they're literally stabbing us in the throat. Like it feels like something physical, right? So we hear something that's not physical like a a Reddit page it is. Not a physical thing really, is it? Like, it's not an arm, it's not someone stabbing you. It's not someone choking you. Like it's not a physical harm, but we take the words and we make it physical. So when I saw that, and when I hear and see like wording, like even comments on my social media, sometimes I will write really controversial content that triggers wars, right? there's, there's two parts to this. Sometimes I actually just generally like don't even read it. Like if I can read a few words and within a few words you can, you can sense the text or something. I just choose to not play and let them, 'cause I'm not gonna meet them in a shadow. Because if I'm meeting them in their shadow, I'm just as good as them. Right? So there's that. But then also, I don't take words and make it physical, so I don't become a victim to words. I don't make it, oh, they made me feel insecure, they hurt me. It's like, no, they just happen to have curated a sentence that has words and Words are neutral Right. Words are neutral and they just happen to be designed in a sentence that I could make it harmful towards me and I could make it make me question myself, but I have the emotional intelligence to understand words are neutral. It's what we make it mean, right? It's whether we take it on, so I have that healthy separation. The other thing as well is, shadow work doesn't just give you self knowledge on yourself. You become aware of other people's shadows. You know when something is coming from a shadowy face, like I can smell it, I can read it in two words, and I'll be able to tell you exactly your childhood, what you're projecting, like I'll be able to like literally psychoanalyze you. But I choose not to do that most of the time. Sometimes I do, right? But sometimes
I'm
to.
right, but, but most of the time it's about understanding that they're projecting onto me because of a part of themselves that they don't wanna own. Right, and and that reaction for them to feel neutral, grounded, normal, to then go into a reactive state where they're choosing to pause their day to write something negative, an internal thing for them.
That's nothing to do with me. It's nothing at all to do with me. So having that healthy separation always going from a space of words are neutral.
Mm.
Yeah, I
I love that perspective. Did you ever have moments where it was people closest to you though, and considering your rise, like, let's just talk about that for a moment. You've created a remarkable business for yourself too, and for your family, what you have done. I
I don't know that many people that have also built multimillion dollar empires.
Right. It's impressive. It really is. But I imagine too, knowing how often this fear of success comes up. And it's definitely something that I continue to
go through
the layers in,
but it's the projections not from people that I don't know, but it's more so people that you know, one are the closest to you because you're changing and that makes them uncomfortable.
Did you have that? And how would you say to navigate that to someone when that's really, they're scared of
that, so they keep themselves small to protect other people feeling uncomfortable,
you know what I mean?
even, I remember like my business blew up quite quickly and going from like zero to 100 extremely quickly, and then I've been able to like, maintain and sustain that, right? Is I had a fallout with my sister and a fallout with my best friend, purely down to them being triggered by my success and literally not being able to hold me. that was extremely difficult and hard because I had to make it mean. Not something about me, right? Because I had two people who I deeply loved, that were huge parts of my life going, okay, this is happening at the same time. And my process through that was purely like, instead of using that evidence as like, you know, it's not safe to be successful, it's not safe.
Like, I was like, Ooh, if I can see. A family member that I love so dearly be so triggered by me and take advantage of me and just gonna like, it was just really bad. friend that literally was just so triggered by me that was just so jealous and couldn't celebrate me and was literally couldn't hold that I was becoming successful. If I can see both this evidence and choose to not make it mean something about me, I'm gonna become an incredible human being. I'm gonna become unshakeable where a lot of people let the triggers of other people make it mean that it's not safe. But I did the opposite. If I can be safe in this moment and not take on these projections, imagine how safe I'm gonna be on the other side.
Mm.
How did you work on that safety piece then?
Not feeling safe. So I didn't feel safe for quite some time. It felt scary and I kept doing the work anyway. Okay, cool. I'm gonna make sure I do this at work, like, because that's gonna put me forward. So people go like, how do I feel safe?
It's like,
you don't feel safe
Hmm.
This is really cool. You can not feel safe and make millions of dollars. You can not feel like you could hold $10 million and you can still make $10 million. There is people that make serious money and are super successful. I've coached them and have the biggest insecurities ever. The most biggest shadows. Biggest insecurities, right? But they don't let their actions be based off their insecurities. They have the self-awareness to know. My insecurity would love this action. I'm gonna take this action instead. So I truly believe you don't need to work through all your shadows in order to be successful, but
you do need to know them. You do need to know your insecurities. You do need to know the actions that usually get generated from your insecurities. You need to know your shadows and the patterns that usually get operated from your
shadows
Interesting.
choose
Yeah. I don't know whether you've noticed this too. I'm sure you would have, but I find sometimes people's biggest block is thinking that they have a block that they have to heal so then they can take the action.
feel so then they can take action.
Yeah.
That's self sabotage
I'm gonna say I have a block so I can buy more time to
keep this block,
Yeah, Because
it's safe.
right? Yeah. Because it's safe.
It's safe. Like an example even that, like you can have a limiting belief and still create a life that doesn't generate from
that limiting belief.
Hmm.
Right. You can
have a core wound you can believe at your core that women betray people and being in the most healing, loving relationship with another woman. Friendship. Right? But, but you could have that with another woman and still feel the fear of that women betray you
Yeah.
because if you are not letting your actions in the way that you move through life, and this is self-knowledge, right? Like this is, this is a skill be dictated from your insecurities and wounds.
You can be someone where you can still be healing, you can still be growing, and live an amazing
life.
Yeah, I love that take on it.
So well, one being yourself, but then also having coached so many women that are
so
clients that are so successful,
so
What
do you
think are the habits that stand out that lead to their success?
Other than
what you mentioned, you know, not operating from their shadows and just taking the opposite action to what they would have.
what they
what's something else that you've noticed? Their habits. What are the Common behaviors?
behaviors. Yeah. I would say one of the main things, they're not overly
consumed by other people
Yeah, I.
Like ,
and, and
if they are, they catch themselves.
So they're not scrolling, they're not really up to date with like the latest celebrity or influencer gossip. Like, they're very much like, oh, who's that? Like, like they don't really know what's happening with all these influencer drama like.
Like none of that. They don't really know stuff like that. So I would say like that's a very common, strong trait where it's like they don't get wrapped up in the lowest frequencies of the world, which is like gossip, drama, updates on this person. Where are they living now? They just sold their house or they've got a boyfriend.
Like they're not operating on that level.
📍 So I would say that's probably the most common trait. Like I, I sometimes get mind blown how well people know other influencers, like they know their son, same and cousin, and what happened. I'm like, how do you guys have all this time? Like, how do you have any time to work on yourself? So I would say that like not being as consumed by other people, so they have the capacity to actually be consumed by their passions and their purpose and what they're doing.
You know, a very good example. Can you imagine Tony Robbins. Being like, ooh. What's his influencer doing today? What are they feeding their kids like? He's just not operating on that level. Yeah, I love that you said that because I often feel like I'm live under a rock, and I'll say this to people, they'll be like, oh, do you know such and such?
And I saw this documentary. I'm like, who's that? They're like, how do you not know? I'm like, I literally don't watch the news. I don't watch much television. It's my interest. Like I'll watch real estate shows and I forward past the drama because I've got no time for that. I just wanna show me the houses.
Show me houses. That's it. That's it. Oh my God. I know I could, I could literally live under a rock because I feel like you're probably the same by the sounds of it. But I trust that the news that I need to know will find me. And often the stuff I don't need to know, it'll find me, but I'm just like, block it.
I don't really, I don't need that. Park it. I'm too busy. Doing the things that I wanna do. I love that. Alright, I wanna shift gears a little bit because I remember reading that there was a time when financially you were living week to week and you felt like money just slipped through your fingers faster than you can earn it.
And instead of facing that reality, you kept buying the materialistic things to mask your struggles and keep up the appearances. I think this is very common. So what was that turning point that made you actually face your relationship with money? Yeah, so firstly, like I remember the cycle really was, and you described it really well, where I would make a certain level of money and I would literally attract an electricity bill that I didn't pay from three years ago.
I'm like, where did this bill? Like I would attract the weirdest stuff that would quotations via hit or set me back. Like they were the things that always set me back. Um, and when I started doing shadow work and shadow work works under the narrative that we are literally responsible for everything that we.
Create and what we attract. Everything that we claim that we hate and we dislike, we love in a certain way. So when I explored that. I realized a couple of things about my behavior. I would make a certain amount of money. Like literally I would make, I would, I would get my bank account to like $2,000 and it would literally feel like I could last 10 years on that.
I'd be like, I'm good. And I would stop working. Hmm. Right. And I would relax more money. Always had to come from scarcity. Yeah. It always had to come. And that was my pattern. And, and that's what I reckon a lot of your listeners probably resonate with this, where it's like, the drive that I'm gonna fucking get, 'em always had to come from like, literally being like, how am I gonna afford to pay for my kids lunch boxes next week?
Yeah. And like, that's not healthy. So when I, when I noticed that, I remember thinking to myself, okay, cool. Like when I hit that $2,000 mark. I'm gonna double down and go bigger. And so I was like, Ooh. So instead of, you know, like this is the power of understanding your money patterns from a shadow work level, right?
Because then you realize, oh, my go-to response is to chill. My go-to response is to spend, I would always buy myself and I stress and like a this and that. Like I, I'm like, I'm not in a position to do that. Right. And so I held, what's my usual pattern at $2,000? Oh, it's to spend, it's to chill at work. To, to let go of work.
Okay, cool. I'm gonna do the complete opposite. I'm not gonna spend, I'm gonna hold and I'm gonna double down on work. So that $2,000 ceiling ended up being $10,000. Okay, cool. There's more shadowy patterns coming up at this, but let, let's look at that. What am I noticing? That I'm doing when I hit that level, oh, I tell myself that I get to treat myself.
Oh, I tell myself, da, da da da. Okay, cool, but $10,000 is gonna last me a month after you take a school fee. Like it's not gonna get me far. So it wasn't that one moment, it was this relationship of self-knowledge building. Okay, cool. Like this is the patterns that I usually do when I get to this certain level.
How did you feel then going from that to then growing into someone who can actually hold millions? What do you think was the difference? The difference was being aware of myself. Yeah. Like honestly, it was just being aware at every level. Like when I remember even having my first $1 million month, I.
Right, which was like, what the fuck? A million dollars in 30 days? Like, are you, are you kidding? And for me, I remember feeling to myself,, I literally felt like nothing had changed. And even though I felt that I didn't believe myself. I was like, I'm gonna check what patterns come out.
So every day. When I hit that milestone for an entire month, I wrote out my money patterns. This is what I'm telling myself I can do with my, this is what I'm telling myself I can do at work, and I was so acutely aware of myself. So the difference is simply being freaking aware of yourself. Like the moment that you think that you're above money, shit is when you're actually back in your money.
Shit. Yeah. The moment that you believe you're above the work is when you're actually, when you actually need to look at it. So I've never chosen to be blind to myself, and that's how I've accumulated. You know, not even just being able to have a really incredible business, but having assets and having portfolios that, like, I don't really know many people that have that type of wealth, like at my age in my industry.
Right? So I think that comes from knowing myself, okay, cool. What are my impulses telling me that I wanna do with money? What does my grounded, regulated self want to do with money? Hmm. That's, honestly, it sounds so simple. And it, it kind of is like, it is when you just start, like you just said, just started writing out every day instead of actually making decisions.
Yeah. So instead of going, oh yeah, I wanna buy this thing, okay, I'll just buy it. You were like, Hmm. Interesting. I'm just gonna pause, I'm just gonna hold, I'm just gonna, you basically become that person who can hold more. Yeah. Because it's. That's the main pattern that I see play out is it's not people's fear of money.
They don't fear money. Everyone wants more money. Whether they're gonna admit it or not is a difference. Oh, people. People who say, I fear making millions. I'm like, if I gave you $10 million right now, would you run from an and be scared into a hole? No. Would you be in the corner of the room shaking, going, I'm so terrified like it's a boogeyman.
No, you fucking wouldn't. You would take it and you would run. Yeah, you would take it and you would run. So you're right. What people actually don't have when it comes to money is self-awareness on themselves. They, they get money, they get excited. They're like, I'm going to use this. To look more successful.
I'm gonna use this to get validation. I'm gonna use this to feel superior and pay for dinner for everyone so I can look amazing. I'm gonna buy this so I can post it on social media. That greed, the validation, the ego is what fucks up money. Yeah, it's, that's, it's the ego. That's what destroy, it's the ego.
So no one fears money. No. We just get obsessed with looking a certain way, whether that be we want to look like we're poor because we want people to feel sorry for us. Like we get a lot of sympathy for being poor. I got a lot of sympathy for being poor. Like the whole single mom with two kids thing was my thing.
At one point everyone felt sorry for me. Right? But then the other part as well, when you are extremely wealthy. There's a certain perception that you wanna uphold too. So it's about always being mindful of when your ego is present when it comes to money. Yeah. And there's that piece of, too, it's like you said, no one's gonna run away from money.
No one who wins tarts. Lotto is just like, oh damn. Like, give it back. I don't wanna give it all to charity. No, they don't. Most people who say, let's say win tattslotto, right? Most people end up in a worse off financial position because they actually haven't become the person who can have that responsibility with the money that they get.
They just splurge it all. Obviously they haven't integrated any of their shadows, so they're just like, give, give, give, give, give. Ego, ego. That's where we go. But it's, it's always comes down to that responsibility piece at the same time. And that's why people seem to run from it, because there's no lie that.
The level of success that you create. Everyone in their mind also has a pay bracket with that. Like, I wanna be this successful, but it comes in line with a certain pay bracket because that's, money's just a tool. And at that pay bracket, well, that kind of tool can provide this kind of life for yourself, for your family.
You can do more good in the world. You can invest, you can help the children. You I've, you know, I've seen lots of things that you've done too, and you don't openly talk about all that other beautiful side of the things that you do and helping other people. What's a belief then that you once held about money and success that you've now completely debunked for yourself? Mm. What's a belief that I once had? I feel like it was there. There's always something. Like, I know that doesn't, I don't know if people can relate to that, but like, there's always something.
So like, it kind of goes back into that little story that I said where I would get random electricity bills. I'm not even joking. That happened to me numerous times. I'm like, how did you even find me? Like, I live somewhere differently? so things like that where there was always something that like took my money away.
Right. And, and it's interesting and I truly believe this, where it's like. You never fully transcend the belief because you always have evidence to potentially suggest otherwise. Because we live in a duality life. Like I could the, you know, couple hundred thousand dollars tax bill that I got the other day, I could literally be like, well that's the belief there again, right?
That I'm choosing to not take that evidence on to fuel that belief. Mm. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So would say you could be like, oh, here it is again. Yeah. Like, cool, I get to pay tax. I don't know, whatever language you, you choose to apply to it. But I would say, yeah, there was, there was always something.
Yeah, for sure. So how do you measure success in your life now? Good question. 'cause I feel like now that I've created wealth for myself it's really about the moments and pockets of time that I have that I don't need to be anywhere else.
Hmm. Like for me, like if the more that I have of that, like even before this podcast, like it's, we live in different time zones, so it's morning for me here. I got to make my kids breakfast. And then my partner breakfast and I got to feed them. And for me, I remember once upon a time, it's funny, like when I didn't have money, that was a chore.
Yeah. I was like, oh my gosh, this is a reason why I'm not successful. I. Is because I always eat to feed these kids. I'm always cooking, I'm always cleaning. Where those moments now I'm like, all I need to do is like cook a steak on a barbie and like that sounds so Aussie, doesn't it? But like that is so Aussie, but seriously, that's what I was doing here this morning in Bali.
But yeah, like those moments where there's nothing else to do and there's nowhere else to be. That's, that's my definition of success, the more that I have of those, and that, that's literally how I'm scaling my business now, so I can have more of those. Yeah. I love that. And that's priceless. Your time's priceless.
Yeah. It's the only resource we never get back. Yeah. What is a book that has deeply impacted your life? Probably one of my favorite books is The Courage to Be Disliked and there's another one that's one of my favorites too. The Courage to be disliked by, I forget his name. Okay, but you guys can look it up.
Um, and I wouldn't say that this book impacts me now, but it definitely started my journey, the power of now. Mm. Such an oldie, but it's always just so good, isn't it? It is because it reminds you to be present in the moment. Like there's no past, there's no future. It's literally created right now. And I think too, you're probably very similar, but it's something when you have such a busy mind and you're always, you're a mom too, you've got so many tabs open in the beginning, you've gotta learn to just.
Pause, switch off. Yeah. It's not important. What's important right now is like the thing that I'm doing right now, and it's it, it's easier said than done, I find. Do you meditate? I used, I go through phases, to be honest. Hmm. I go through phases, so at the moment I'm really in a phase of like journaling and writing in the mornings because like that's my current phase where that kind of feels like.
Meditative to me, like where I'm just in that flow. But then I'll go through phases of meditating again. But at the moment, I can be seen writing for like an hour and a half in the mornings. Wow. And that's kind of where I'm at. I'm in a very creative journey at the
moment. So for the past, like let's just say three months, I've been mostly writing.
Yeah, I love that. And honestly, the way that you do write like your captions and things, and I'm in your broadcast channel, if you haven't seen Felicity's Broadcast Channel, get in there. but the way that you explain things and articulate is not like anyone else I've seen. So it's amazing.
What is something else then that is just a non-negotiable for you in your day? Like, I think people might look at you and think, how do you do it all? And I mean, I really wanna preface here, when anyone is so successful, don't discount or discredit how they got here, because it doesn't always start like that, but see it as an opportunity and see it as something like, oh, this is a possibility.
You're a mom. You said you were a single mom at one point, but what do you find is like your non-negotiables? What would you tell past self? Yep. These are your non-negotiable, stick to these to be, be successful. So for me, I am not on my phone in the mornings. Like I, that's just been a thing for me for many, many years.
I don't even know how people can function when they're doing that. I also don't go on it at nighttime. so pretty much when my kids get home from school, I'm not gonna be much on there. Maybe I'll write. Back to a couple of messages, but I'm not sitting on social media.
I'm not watching people's stories. You're not gonna see me liking a post at like 9:00 PM at night. Like, it's just not happening. So I would say that, and then the next thing is, and this is like not personal development, but I swear to God, this is like the big things that have changed my life is eating good foods for my gut.
like if you are eating. Toast for breakfast with honey, and that's, you are not getting protein or fats. So I'm like, I don't know how people function. Like my partner and I always laugh about this. I'm like, how are people walking around? So malnourished. So for me, a healthy, beautiful breakfast. I don't know if you saw my breakfast this morning, but like I've already had like a big, no, I haven't nourishing breakfast.
So it was like a ribeye steak, fried eggs, organic cottage cheese. So for me, like a really healthy breakfast and always preparing my brain and my cognitive function, the best way to start the day. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. There is something so different when I have like eggs and avocado. That's it.
Yeah, no toast. Just eggs and avocado. It's just like brain food filled. It is literally like I always eat for my brain because like my brain is my biggest asset when it comes to my business. So the more like clarity that I have, then the more successful I'm gonna become. So I literally eat to be rich. If like you can.
I love that. Yeah, that's a great tagline. Okay, last question. What is the vision then for your business? What does it look like this year and what can we expect from you? So I am currently writing my first book. It has been a process, but a really, really, really, really good one.
So that, and also scaling, my Shadow Work app. So we just launched a Shadow work app probably close to six months ago now, and we're about to take it to a whole different level. So I'm gonna make that pretty much, I wanna make it mainstream, I wanna make shadow work like as well known as, you know, manifesting.
I really do see that shadow work is gonna be like trending in 20 26, end of 2025. So I'm gonna be like the person that makes that happen. That's amazing and we're gonna link to everything in the show notes. And lastly, before we go, I just wanna say that I just wanna acknowledge you for the work that you're doing and how you show up.
And in just true authenticity, I know that word's thrown around a lot, but I don't know how else to explain it. But I feel like when you connect, when you read your posts, anything that you share, when you do your voice notes in your broadcast channel, it's just so clear that you are so passionate and driven and without you, there are.
Tens of thousands if not more people walking around that would've, not integrated their shadows and just be walking around with these same behaviors showing up. So thank you for everything that you do on behalf of everybody and everyone that's ever come across you, because your work is incredible.
It's so unique and no one can do it like you and how direct you are. I am here for it. So thank you. Thank you. It can get me in trouble sometimes, but it's also my biggest assessment. It's a shadow, right? There's gifts, so there's, there's not so good guests. But thank you so much. I feel honored to be on this podcast with you.
And thank you for inviting me and thank you to your audience for taking the time and space to listen to us today, to balance and chat and allowing me to introduce you guys to shadow work. Yeah, I'm sure they're gonna love it. I'm gonna put all the links in the show notes too so they can connect with you, find you, and dive into shadow work because it is just life changing.
So thank you so much. Thank you.
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I really hope that you enjoyed it. And be sure to subscribe so that you don't miss any of the incredible future episodes and guests that we have coming up for you. And if you haven't already subscribed to our email list, be sure to do so because we have some pretty epic things coming this year, as well as the magazine will be sent to our subscribers every single month to help you with all things, money and mindset, personal development and entrepreneurship.
The world needs more kindhearted, women like you with deep pockets. I'll catch you in the next episode.